The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i think i just lost a toe
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
