Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
