I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Can I color on your dick again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
