Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
