i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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