My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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