haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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