Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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