I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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