how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Farmville is her only friend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
