i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think people are normalizing furries
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
