I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize