butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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