Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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