if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
did i walk over a car last night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
