Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
