Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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