we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
