I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
