I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize