i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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