How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize