apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
