your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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