Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just puked most of my soul out..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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