it wasn't lemon gatorade
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
