Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
