Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
