dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
