trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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