i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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