I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She said her name was "party"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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