take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
