So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's always time for handjobs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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