She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
