You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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