More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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