Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
