great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
