last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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