Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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