Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
