Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize