is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I came so hard my ears popped.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
