I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
