I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
