Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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