Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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