fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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