you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
