so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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