I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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