you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
