Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
