you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Damn victory sex feels great
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
