I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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