Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
