Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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