babies were throwing up all over the place
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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