There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
