Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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