So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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