My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
