Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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