U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
