I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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