i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize