RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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