Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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