The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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